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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Karin Schill" data-source="post: 16291">Thank you Sanda. I have a feeling you are going to love the next update! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />Several hours later in Los Angeles were Bobby & Pam still deep in conversation. They were sitting at a local restaurant and had spent most of the morning together, talking over drinks and even had lunch together even though neither one of them had much of an appetite. While they were talking there was this strange tension in the air, the kind of feeling that comes when you have been away from each other for a long time and are now just reconnecting. Oddly enough it also felt really natural to be together again and the words came surprisingly easy, as there was still this special bound between them, the kind of connection that soul mates have, which sometimes even made words unnecessary. Because even after all this time they still knew just what the other one was feeling and thinking just from looking into each other’s eyes.Bobby frowned, as he listened to Pam talking about the years they’d spent a part. His eyes then widened, as he tried to make sense of Pam’s story, “So you never married that doctor that you presented to Cliff?”“No,” Pam shook her head. “That was just what I said...”“But why on earth did you say that?” Bobby didn’t understand why she had lied about something like that.“Because I thought I was dying and I didn’t want to cause you any more pain and I would have if I’d just come home to die away from you.”“Oh Pam...the thought of you dying all alone far away from the people that loves you is more painful to me than...” Bobby had to stop, as the words got stuck in his throat.“I know, and maybe I was wrong, I just didn’t wanna torture you anymore. I thought that I was right to leave you like I did but looking back now...I’m not so sure anymore...”“What do you mean?” Bobby wondered.“I think that I might have made a mistake when I left you,” Pam confessed. “Over the years I’ve just missed you so much. But I’ve always thought it was for your own good that I left you, as I didn’t wanna risk coming back just for you to lose me again. The first couple of years I was still in pretty bad shape, then at the time I started to be recovered you had already moved on and married April and...”“Yeah,” Bobby reflected, as his face turned into a grimace.“You still miss her don’t you?”“Yeah, she was my wife and she died so yeah I think a part of me will always miss her…”Pam looked down as this was painful for her to hear, “I’m sorry Bobby,” Pam said compassionately, as she reached out and took Bobby’s hand into her own. “It must have been awful for you when she died...”“It really was...especially being so far away from home and on our honeymoon. But then again I guess life has never been fair...”“You’ve got that right...” Pam sighed. “Just look at us for instance. When we got married for the second time I really thought it would last forever and just a year later it was already over...”“I know,” Bobby nodded, before he let go of her hand. “Even though you really didn’t have to leave us, you know?”“I know that now, but I guess I just couldn’t see it then. I really thought that I was doing what was best for all of us and instead I just ended up hurting everyone.”“Yeah you sure did.  Christopher never understood why his mama suddenly didn’t love him anymore...”“Oh no!” Pam’s face paled. “You didn’t let him grow up believing I didn’t now, did you?”“Of course not, I always made sure to tell him how much you loved him whenever he asked and still it was hard for me to explain to him why you’d left us when I didn’t even understand it myself...”“I’m sorry Bobby do you think that you could ever forgive me?” Pam wondered with tears in her eyes. “I mean the last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you and Christopher...”“I know...” Bobby sighed. “And well if you’re gonna be a part of my life from now on I guess I’ll have to forgive you. Assuming that you wanna be a part of our lives again...” Bobby said awkwardly. “I mean I wasn’t the one who said goodbye so that’s really always been up to you...”“Oh Bobby, I do wanna be a part of your life again...” Pam smiled to Bobby’s relief.“Good.”“You know after I had recovered completely I kept having all these dreams about you and me and Christopher and the way we used to be. I wanted to look you up so badly but I was afraid to...”“Afraid?” Bobby raised an eyebrow, “but why?”“Because I didn’t know how you would react. I mean I’ve been gone for ages so I was scared that I’d only go there to realize that you didn’t want me in your life anymore and even though I’d probably deserve that after all I’ve put you through, it would really have hurt me and...” Pam couldn’t go on as the tears were starting to fall from her eyes.“Hush...it’s all right now Pam,” Bobby said soothingly, as he took her hand in his own again and looked her straight into her brown eyes. “I do want you in my life and even though I can’t really speak for Christopher, I think he’s always secretly hoped that you’d come back some day. In fact why don’t you come back to Dallas and Southfork with me?” Bobby asked so suddenly that Pam was caught off guard.Not really believing her ears she asked, “You really want me to go back to Southfork with you?”“Yeah,” Bobby confirmed. Noticing the hesitation in her eyes he went on, “It doesn’t have to be forever if we don’t want it to of course, but I think it would be nice if you could at least come for a visit,” Bobby paused for a moment before he went on. “I’m sure that Christopher would love to see you and I believe you and I still have a lot of catching up to do. Please Pam it would give us a chance to sort out what we’re really feeling for each other these days...”“Oh Bobby I’d love to but...” Pam said hesitating.Seeing the doubts in her eyes, Bobby could feel his heart sinking. Oh no, she’s involved with someone else... his mind told him and again he wondered why he’d been so quick to put his heart out on the line again, as it really wasn’t smart to give her another chance to break it. Knowing how to read her like an open book he said sadly, “There is already someone here in Los Angeles that you can’t leave...”Pam shifted nervously before she said honestly, “Yes…but it’s not who you think...”“So it's not another man?” Bobby asked feeling relieved when she shook her head but also even more confused since if it wasn’t another man he just couldn’t see who would make it so hard for her to leave LA. “So what is it then Pam?” He tried to coax it out of her.“No it’s…” the words got stuck in her throat.“It’s okay you can tell me whatever it is and I’m sure I’ll understand...”Pam nodded, “I hope you will, I really do but...” she paused for a moment and it became obvious to Bobby that whatever was on her mind was apparently very important to her. Because unlike earlier that day when they hadn’t had any problems to talk at all, she seemed to have a hard time finding the words now. Still he’d never expected her to say what she eventually did, “Can I bring Rebecca with me?”“Rebecca?” Bobby questioned. “Who’s Rebecca?”Pam took a deep breath and maybe the serious expression on her face should have been enough to warn him of what was to come and yet it was like nothing could have ever prepared him for this. “She's...” Pam paused. “I’ve tried to tell you all afternoon Bobby, but I really didn’t know how...” Pam looked away for a brief moment, as if she tried to gather up her strength. “It’s...she's your daughter Bobby!!!”</blockquote>

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